There's not nearly enough alcohol in my cup of tea.

Really.

So I'm stuck indoors, doing English work (work, I might add, that I don't even need to to, but I am anyway because I've got myself into such a panic about it (y) ) - and drinking tea. Open Evening was tonight at school, and I'm too ill to go. So I'm using the time constructively and doing English, like I may have mentioned, and also listening to music. I wanted to have a little word:

In between sitting here on my duff and drinking tea and brutally pulling apart a novel a care very little about- I got to thinking about why I'm taking the day off and how I have got to stop winding myself up to the point of feeling sick over work. The thing is- I won't be happy unless I manage to achieve the same grades I would if I were well. THAT'S NOT HEALTHY. Will I stop? No, of course not, I'm a Cooper and we are ridiculously stubborn at saying 'Nothing shall stop me'- it doesn't always work well.
My Mum asked me 'What if you took a turn for the worst and you end up not getting the grades you want?' I replied 'I'll re-take the year'- but I sort of don't know who I'd be doing it for? I'm happy enough to have fun at Uni, have my fantastic friends, get a comfortable job, have a home (even if it is tiny) and be in love and have all those great things in life. Notice how I never mention money? High earner, low earner- if I'm happy I'm happy. So why do I still make myself obtain high results? I'm determined to show people I can still do it I guess.
The point of all of this wasn't to show you all in words my own mental break down (I'm pretty sure you see them enough!), but to send a message of 'blooming hell guys, we may need to calm down'.
I know I'm not the only one thinking 'Oh goodness I need to get all of this otherwise I'll never amount to anything!'. Listen to this-
My grandfather is one of the most amazing, kindly, socially high class people you could ever meet- twenty years ago if you had mentioned his name anywhere of value they would have known who he was- he managed to work his way up to being head of a rather large stock exchange company- with a Geography A-level.
So guys, whether it's snobbery (it very well may be, I've seen it!), pressure from parents/teachers or just a nervous personality that is making you ignore happiness and good health in exchange for work and good grades you need to calm down- you will make something of your life. The only ones who won't are those who assume it will all happen for them without any work.
In the words of John Lennon 'When I grow up I want to be happy' when asked 'What would you like to be when you grow up?'
And quite frankly if you think I don't understand the question- then you don't understand life.

Trying to get the hang on this, and generally everything :')

Hello all! Well, probably not all actually because I'm useless at the moment with writing this thing and have no idea what I'm doing- so actually let me re-word that: 'hello, my one follower'!

Here's the deal, I want to start writing a blog entry far more often because I find myself wanting to say more and more things all the time and seeing as I never shut up, it means people don't have to be polite and sit and listen instead they can skim read and just pick up the bits they want to! Whehey.
Firstly, this past week I have been getting over a rather nasty chest infection which along with the ol' 'C' meant I was pretty unwell- now that I'm better however it's fine and I'm back to school and actually really enjoying lessons...at the moment. My art is coming along great, ideas wise- we haven't really started much on the creating a final piece yet. English is good, I have fallen in love with 'The Great Gatsby' as well as Robert Redford (my mum was right!) and 'Behind the Scenes at the Museum'- however I may jump out of the nearest window at the thought of 'Great Expectations'. Nothing happens of interest in it- the only thing I like about it is the characterisation of Miss Haversham and the idea that she stunted any sort of development of her character at twenty to nine on her wedding day several years prior to Pip meeting her, while in contrast we see Pip developing more and more throughout (he is an annoying little git). Psychology I love, and will always love- fingers crossed I get to study it at Durham University!
     Secondly, while I was off I discovered something really rather disgusting and horrifically cruel- I wish I hadn't! I have recently heard of a poor young girl who suffers with an ageing disease, and my heart really goes out to her and her family and I truly hope that she has a happy life despite the fact she has been landed with such a horrible thing. I admire her mother's strength. The whole family in fact. However on 'Facebook', a site I share a love/hate relationship with, I saw a group of people I know publically mocking her and her situation. Using such words as 'it'... This brought me to tears instantly because I couldn't believe that ANY human being could be so cruel. But do you know what bloggers? I feel sorry for them, because they will NEVER understand what it's like to appreciate anything and actually live for the day.
SO HERE'S THE PLAN.
I'm going to start drawing/painting/making art pieces and trying to sell them to raise money for her and her family- as well as busking :) We can buy her something nice with our money :D

Last thing- I'm going to start being healthy...HA! So I may need moral support while I slave away and don't eat chocolate. GOOD GOD IN HEAVEN. D:

Much Love. Coop.

My reasons..

So here I am, new to all of this and I haven't a clue where to start! There's so much I could say but how much do people want to hear? I decided to start blogging because of some hassle I was having about clamming up and ending up bursting out in anger or upset when it finally got too much; I figured instead I would vent here and be less likely to kill someone haha! I am also determined to loose weight and finally tone up and get back to the figure I was before I was struck by the dreaded 'C' word! I'm dealing with leukaemia pretty well which is why I wanted to blog as well to give those reading who are also affected or know those who are affected someone to relate to :) It's a long journey that I plan to bloody well treck and get to the end of ;) Signed with love, A x